Friday, April 6, 2012

Warning From An FCI Lad

W is for “Whew!” We’re almost done the A to Z challenge.
What? We’re only at F?
F***

“Give me an F”, “F”, “Give me an O”, “O”, “Give me an R”, “R”, “Give me an S”, “S”, “Give me a T”, “T”, “Give me an E”, “E”, “Give me an R”, “R”
“What’s that spell?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t graduated yet.”

Forster was the name of the high school I attended in good ol’ Windsor, Ontario. The full name of the school was John L. Forster Collegiate Institute. Sheeesh! How pompous can you get? It was just a stupid high school.

In 2011, Forster was rated 2.1 out of 10 in academic achievement by a non-partisan independent organization, which made it 705th out of 727 high schools in Ontario. No wonder I’ve frittered my life away. It seems it weren’t my fault after all.

We had a school fight song that went something like this:

We are the FCI lads, loyal and true
We come from Forster, and we’ll fight
We’ll fight, we’ll fight with all our might
For we something or other
We something, something
We’ll win a victory, so come on and sing...

Forster, we’re with you always, through thick and thin
So come on let’s kick the other team in the shin....

Close enough. This gives you an idea what kind of impression that dumb song had on me. I believe the song's title was We Are The FCI Lads. Surprise! I guess it was written before the days of Susan B. Anthony. I can believe it too. That school was old.

There are no famous alumni from Forster aside from some guy who became mayor of Windsor and some other dude who writes a blog that’s allegedly about snow shoveling.

I should say that in spite of all the lampooning here, I kind of liked Forster.

I remember we had a gym teacher who was a cleft-chinned behemoth by the name of Mr. Strong, and our English teacher was named Mrs. Shakespeare. I kid you not.

And there was a principal there who went by the moniker of Mr. Liverhead. That wasn't really his name, but, I swear to you, the students used to yell that out whenever he was presiding over an assembly. “Liiiiiverheeeeaad, Liiiiiverheeeeaad...” they would chant over and over.

And people say that we respected our elders back then? Fiddlesticks.


Facebook Forewarned

I’ve seen this warning on a couple of my Facebook friends’ walls:

PRIVACY NOTICE:
Warning--any person and/or institution and/or Agent and/or Agency of any governmental structure including but not limited to the Canadian Federal Government also using or monitoring/using this website or any of its associated websites, you do NOT have my permission to utilize any of my profile information nor any of the content contained herein including, but not limited to my photos, and/or the comments made about my photos or any other “picture" art posted on my profile. You are hereby notified that you are strictly prohibited from disclosing, copying, distributing, disseminating, or taking any other action against me with regard to this profile and the contents herein. The foregoing prohibitions also apply to your employee(s), agent(s), student(s) or any personnel under your direction or control. The contents of this profile are private and legally privileged and confidential information, and the violation of my personal privacy is punishable by law.

I can just see government agents all over Canada saying, “Curses! I can’t believe those Facebook users have the smarts to protect themselves that way.”

Now I’m no legal expert, but the above notice seems as if it were written by someone who thinks they’re a legal expert because they’ve watched an episode of Judge Judy. One line in particular is a little baffling. The one that says “you are strictly prohibited from disclosing, copying, distributing, disseminating, or taking any other action against me...” Sure. Who wants to be disclosed, copied, distributed, or disseminated?

It’s quite likely that the author of this warning is a Forster dropout.

In another example of Facebook fatuity, police in Toronto accused a young woman of assault and arrested her based on a profile thumbnail photo!

I once had a photo of Johann Sebastian Bach as my profile pic, yet no one ever accused me of being a genius — musical or otherwise.

And if Bach had a Facebook page with a profile photo of himself, Toronto police might mistakenly nab him for a crime committed by the Quaker Oats guy.

Note to Toronto Police: L to R - Quaker, Music Maker


T.G.I.F. One more day to go this week in the challenge and then a well-deserved Easter break.

Give me an F. Give me an A. Give me an R...   
I'll spare you the rest and just say farewell for now.

4 comments:

  1. In these days of extreme political correctness, I suspect you don't find very many school fight songs with the word fight in them anymore. I can't see any school admin folks encouraging kids to "Fight, fight with all your might."

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    1. I wonder if today's school songs encourage young people to "Gain, gain with all your brain"? That would actually be kind of refreshing.

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  2. Since we're on the topic of secondary schools rumour has it that in my area a local catholic high school held its annual Easter liturgy on Thursday. The admin had to put teachers on "duty" at every door of the school to capture escaping students. "Your mission, your mission, is to capture the escaping Christians'. Yikes. :)

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    Replies
    1. Literally, a captive audience.
      I like the teachers' fight song at that school. :)

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