Friday, April 27, 2012

Everything You Wanted To Know About Xargak

Today’s post is brought to you by the letter X.

Oh, the possibilities. What subject do I choose??? X-Men, X-FilesX Factor; need I go on?

In fact, X can stand for anything. X is used to denote any unknown number. X is used to abbreviate holiday names like Xmas and Thanx.

And although it is highly unlikely that any two bloggers in this challenge will choose the same X topic, I’ve decided to take a chance and write about a subject that’s probably on every A to Z’er’s mind right now; the planet Xargak.

I can hear the bloggers now, "Oh, sure. Make up an X topic. That's cheating!" Oh yeah? Read on and decide for yourself.

Xargak — the name evokes awe and guffaws. A forbidding planet; mysterious, severe, bleak, full of Xargakians.

This austere planet is 256 million light years away in the distant galaxy Xygala.

Little is known of Xargak and its inhabitants, but luckily, I’ve been visited in the late hours of the night by creatures from this strange land. Some people would pass this off as nothing more than sleep paralysis.

Once I saw a UFO,
It flew from sky to sky.
I could not say to where it went,
It simply left my eye.

Then late that night, while sound asleep,
I felt a presence near;
It probed my brain, it scanned my form,
From neck to feet to ear.

Suddenly, there came a thought:
Sleep paralysis was this.
It was a dream and nothing more;
I drifted back to bliss.

UFOs yes, extraterrestrials no;
A fact needs proof to be.
Billions of stars and galaxies we view,
Not a single alien we see.

I'm not sure who wrote that poem, but "HOGWASH" I say! I know when I've been Xargaked!

Xargakians are an exceptionally shy and secretive bunch, but they have a good excuse; they suffer from xenophobia. This could explain why they (and other aliens apparently) only visit us in the dark of night.

Xerography is the method by which Xargakians reproduce. When I learned this I exhaled with relief. I was afraid that those nightly visits were going to involve a little more poking than prodding.

x                            X                                    
A typical Xargakian signature.

Most Xargakians are excellent xylophone players. Their music sounds like a cacophonic mess to most Earthlings, but once you get an exact idea of what the music conveys, it can sound positively exquisite. Their favorite musician from our planet is Xavier Cugat.

Here are some more quick facts about Xargak:

The atmosphere is composed of mainly xenon with some traces of oxygen.

The vegetation is xerohytic.

The inhabitants are xanthodontic and xanthodermic.

The most common names for boys is Xerxes while the most popular for girls is Xenia.

An extremely popular beverage on the planet is fermented xylitol. If they do any tippling here, it's only with Dos Equis.

Earthbound Xargakians look forward to this indulgence.

If you ever encounter a being from Xargak, be aware of their exaggerated eyes and x-ray vision.

Finally, I wanted to show some promo stills from Xargakian cinema, but all their films are X-rated.

Maybe I should have put that at the beginning of the post to draw in a few more views.


  1. Ohhhhhh, now you just had entirely too much fun with this one! Love it.

  2. Brilliant! When will I ever learn not to read your post before I have to go write mine?!!

    1. Thanks Angie. I highly recommend a couple of Dos Equis prior to writing any blog posts. It works wonders for me.