Our Wild Minikin

Before I get into the topic for this post, did anyone else happen to see the crowd at the recent Academy Awards show? One woman was wearing what must be the most inconsiderate outfit in the history of audiences:

Look at the guy to her left! He's leaning way over to get a view of the stage. By the end of the evening, his neck must have been as sore as Michelangelo's after he'd painted the Sistine Chapel. Can you imagine sitting behind this bizarrely adorned woman? Someone must have yelled out, "Who the HELL are you wearing?" If they didn't, they should have. 

A closeup view shows what looks to be an eyeball straining to see through the fabric:

I suppose a distorted view is better than no view. But perhaps not, as we will discuss shortly.

Does anyone remember a TV documentary series years ago called Wild America? It was a terrific show about North American wildlife (rather than out-of-control inner city punks), hosted by the bearded, outdoorsy looking Marty Stouffer. He and Grizzly Adams should have squared off in a bearded, outdoorsy-look contest.   

Bearded and outdoorsy, but very sweet

My wife and I — savage beasts that we are — really enjoyed watching Wild America and getting an up close look at all those feral, and often dangerous critters from the comfort of our living room and creature comforts. 

Little did we suspect that there are real perils lurking about just outside the door! Case in point: recently in a Facebook group for a nearby town, I saw a post from a woman who was wondering if anyone else had seen a cougar wandering about in the vicinity. A black cougar! 

I'm no zoologist, despite evidence to the contrary, but I'm pretty sure that a black cat of that size would be a black panther. There are absolutely no panthers in Ontario, and even a cougar in the southwestern area of the province would be unlikely in the extreme. Just as rare would be sightings of bobcats or lynxes. These cats are simply not indigenous to this area.

Once in a blue moon, someone might see a black bear. Even this is very rare in the greater Minikin area, but there have been one or two confirmed sightings. You will find foxes, coyotes, and other critters for sure; even beach coyotes!

Often enough, when someone believes they've observed a cougar in this area, they have likely seen (through somehow somewhat distorted vision) a dog, a coyote, or a ginormous domestic cat. 

Standard Southwestern Ontario Mountain Lion

Now I don't want to cast aspersions on those who claim to see cougars, bobcats, lynxes, panthers, or even lions and tigers in the area. But if one of these folks saw a chickadee, they would likely report it as a bald eagle sighting. If they saw a bald eagle, they would claim they saw a pterodactyl. 

Not a bald eagle, but a ptypical pterosaur. "Look out below!"

Speaking of dinosaurs, I read somewhere that the closest living relative to the monstrous Tyrannosaurus Rex is your modern day, garden variety chicken; the fearsome Tyrannosaurus Pecks.

Not fearsome? Try telling that to a grasshopper or a cricket!

In fact, I read elsewhere that the giant lizards of yore may have been covered in feathers! At least there is speculation that a young T-Rex may have had a downy covering.  As well, it has been suggested that they did not likely roar, but probably honked! Can you just imagine a baby Tyrannosaurus Rex with his feathery coat, letting out a tiny little "honk"? They must have been so cute!

A Face Only A Mother Could Love

Momma or Poppa on the other hand:

Hey There Handsome!

Fortunately, there are no more dinosaurs roaming the Earth. However, if that woman from the Facebook group should assert that she's seen a T-Rex, I'll chase it down for her and take care of the situation.

A woman became panic-stricken 

Her heartbeat had started to quicken

Through badly smudged specs

She saw a T-Rex

But with clean lenses saw just a chicken

 

Anyone have a recipe for coq au vin?