Friday, February 26, 2010

Pitching is Easier than Shoveling

McDonald’s theme song "Bada ba ba ba im lovin it" is on Facebook

Really! I’m not kidding.

I wonder who else is on Facebook? Subway’s jingle “Five, five dollar, five dollar footlong” could be there. Or maybe Meow Mix’s “Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow” song is on Facebook. Perhaps “The grizzly bears from the Charmin commercials with toilet paper pieces stuck to their bums” are on Facebook.

People often ask me, “Do you make a lot of money writing for Snow Shoveling In Canada?” Oddly enough, — considering what a bright beacon of information, critical thinking, and current events this site is — I am not paid for my efforts here.

It seems, however, that I’ve missed my calling. If I really wanted to make some easy money, then I would have become an ad man — yes, you heard me right, an ad man.

Look at the commercials on television. It must be easy to sell ads to these corporate executives. They’ll buy anything!

Imagine going to a meeting with the board of directors of some large food manufacturer, and pitching your idea of a big animated four-fingered hand. “This” you say, “is what you need to sell your hamburger enhancement product.”

With bold confidence, you show them an image of this brilliant character; seemingly born of enormous creative capacity and years of mental toil.

“His palm, you’ll notice, contains his face. His thumb is his right hand,” you announce with pride.
“What are the other three fingers?” they ask.
“His hair, of course.”
“What about legs? He has no legs.”
“Oh, he can move about pretty well. He can even drive a car, albeit badly.”
“Great! We’ll buy it,” they exclaim.

Or, you could have made this pitch to the folks at Geico Insurance:
"Ladies and gentleman, may I present the Geico Gecko."
“Our company name is Geico, not Gecko.”
“Yes, but it sounds like Gecko."
“Great! We’ll buy it.”
Good thing the company name wasn’t Cackroach. That would have been a tougher sell.

On the McDonald’s Canada web site, someone has posted this comment: “Why I Love McDonald's: Best jingle in history – Ba-Da-Ba-Ba-Ba.”

Yes, it certainly is ingenious. The composer of this jingle must be a richly talented musician indeed. It's also quite evident that his skill as a lyricist rivals W. S. Gilbert. But I like to imagine that I’d had the chance to pitch my ad and accompanying jingle just after this clever fellow.

“What do you have for us?” they would have asked.
“How’s this? Bada-Ba-Ba-Bee-Ba I’m sure lovin’ it.”
“Incredible! I never thought anyone would top that last guy. You’re hired.”

As simple as that.

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