At Sixes and Sevens Over Fourths and Fifths

It was my brother’s birthday this past weekend, so I called him to wish him Happy Birthday. I called early in the day and figured I’d be the first in the family to wish him well on his day.

I asked him if I was the first to call. He told me, “Your fourth.”
“Fourth!” I said, “I feel like a Canadian Olympian.”

Canada's Olympic slogan should be changed from Do you believe? to Can you believe? — because, I can’t. Canada’s bad luck is incredible. It seems as if someone has put a curse on the Canadian Olympic effort.

Canada apparently has had four 4th and four 5th place finishes. No other competing country at these games has come so close so many times. But let’s put this into perspective. Allow me to analyze.

If Canada’s fourths and fifths were firsts and seconds, and firsts and seconds were still firsts and seconds, then Canada would still only be second and the U.S. first, even assuming the fourths and fifths for the U.S. were not counted as firsts and seconds but remained as fourths and fifths. Thirds in all cases are still thirds.

I’m glad I could clear that up.

But fear not, you Canadian Olympian boosters. Ice dancers Scott Tissue and Vera Mouchoir were running a nose behind first place after the compulsory dance. That’s nothing to sneeze at. They plan not to blow it, and to wipe up the ice with the competition as these two ply their craft in the original dance.

They plan to do the Flamenco for their original dance! Hopefully, they will only have some Flamenco-like elements in this routine and they will avoid performing à la José Greco. I’ve already documented the disastrous consequences that can happen from doing that.