Big Jerk Mac

In a previous post I stated, "I was a pretty skinny kid. I used to see those ads in the comic books for the Charles Atlas Dynamic Tension system for gaining he-man bulk. I was always afraid that I was going to be the guy who got sand kicked in his face. I actually sent away for one of those systems as advertised in the comics. It wasn’t the Charles Atlas one though. I can’t remember the name of it, but it was similar to Dynamic Tension. It was Tense Dynamo or Tensile Dynamite or Demonic Torsion, or something like that."

A simple exercise from the Demonic Torsion® system

Some of you may remember from years ago, ads like these for the Charles Atlas method:

What's up with Mac? Charles Atlas not only made him a hulking beast, but also turned him into a world-class jerk. Jeez, he didn't need to smash the other guy in the face. That dude didn't really make him "dry up and blow away"; he just threatened him. Mac could have done the same. Also, why does he say "Wham!" while delivering the goods? Was he instructed to do that as part of the Dynamic Tension program?

I guess brute strength and lots of testosterone defined a man back then. Here's my advice to all you guys out there. If anyone - like Grace or any of the other nitwits depicted in that ad - tries to tell you that muscles and toughness are the measure of a man, just pull open the waistbands of your pants and shorts, have a look down there, and exclaim, "Poppycock."

If ever there was an ad campaign that begged to be lampooned, this was it.

Therefore, I present to you a couple of satirical "ads" from past issues of the National Lampoon magazine.

From the August, 1973 issue, there's the Psychology Ptoday parody:

From January, 1974,  their Popular Evolution Magazine parody:

Let's just hope that humans have evolved into somewhat more rational, civilized and enlightened beings than what's been illustrated here. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to do my Demonic Torsion routine, after which I have an appointment with my chiropractor. Perhaps I should make an appointment with a priest as well.