I Won't Prance, Don't Ask Me

In case you haven't seen it yet, Prancercise has been making quite a stir on the Internet. It's the latest exercise fad. It comes courtesy of a perky free spirit by the name of Joanna Rohrback. Here is her video:

It looks like fun, but would I do it? Not on your sweet prancing life.

I'm pretty sure that most men would not want to try Prancercise. I'm not too sure ANY adult would, but it would be a rare man indeed that you would find Prancercising through the park.

What the fitness world needs is an exercise routine that men can feel comfortable with — no need for equipment; no need for spandex; no need for music; no need to be perky, or bouncy, or even happy.

So, with that in mind, Snow Shoveling In Canada proudly presents the latest and greatest exercise routine for men:

STANCERCISE !!!

I was considering doing a video to demonstrate this intense workout. But since the Stancercise exercises do not really require much more than still photography for instruction (and since I don't have a decent video camera), I've decided to just post it here on this blog. And it's ALL FOR FREE

One aspect of Ms. Rohrback's video that has been getting a lot of attention is her white pants and a certain part of her anatomy that they cover (but don't really hide). I've decided to dispense with the idea of gaining similar attention by putting a kielbasa in my shorts and donning some tight white pants.

So let's begin. First we will start with this warm-up stance:

And hold... two... three... four...  and rest.

Now that you've caught your breath, let's try some advanced moves:

This "exercise" will take off the years,

when you pose like a model from Target or Sears

 "No pain, no gain"; we have no use for that platitude.

Instead we say, "Adopt a stance with some attitude".

If you are getting tired at this point, it might be a good idea to take a break. Remember to re-hydrate. I recommend beer.

Now, if you are ready to resume:

 In the dog days of summer, you'll never complain,

'cause you'll always be cool when you stand like John Wayne.

Your terrorist neighbors are sure to be nervous

when you bear the air of the Secret Service.

And finally my favorite:

Perspiration is fine for the cyclist or jogger

but I much prefer the sweat beads of a lager.

And hold... two... three... four... and rest.

Whew! Could anyone else go for a cold beer right now?