Thursday, June 6, 2013

I Won't Prance, Don't Ask Me


In case you haven't seen it yet, Prancercise has been making quite a stir on the Internet. It's the latest exercise fad. It comes courtesy of a perky free spirit by the name of Joanna Rohrback. Here is her video:


It looks like fun, but would I do it? Not on your sweet prancing life.

I'm pretty sure that most men would not want to try Prancercise. I'm not too sure ANY adult would, but it would be a rare man indeed that you would find Prancercising through the park.

What the fitness world needs is an exercise routine that men can feel comfortable with — no need for equipment; no need for spandex; no need for music; no need to be perky, or bouncy, or even happy.

So, with that in mind, Snow Shoveling In Canada proudly presents the latest and greatest exercise routine for men:

STANCERCISE !!!

I was considering doing a video to demonstrate this intense workout. But since the Stancercise exercises do not really require much more than still photography for instruction (and since I don't have a decent video camera), I've decided to just post it here on this blog. And it's ALL FOR FREE

One aspect of Ms. Rohrback's video that has been getting a lot of attention is her white pants and a certain part of her anatomy that they cover (but don't really hide). I've decided to dispense with the idea of gaining similar attention by putting a kielbasa in my shorts and donning some tight white pants.

So let's begin. First we will start with this warm-up stance:


And hold... two... three... four...  and rest.


Now that you've caught your breath, let's try some advanced moves:

This "exercise" will take off the years,
when you pose like a model from Target or Sears


 "No pain, no gain"; we have no use for that platitude.
Instead we say, "Adopt a stance with some attitude".

If you are getting tired at this point, it might be a good idea to take a break. Remember to re-hydrate. I recommend beer.

Now, if you are ready to resume:

 In the dog days of summer, you'll never complain,
'cause you'll always be cool when you stand like John Wayne.


Your terrorist neighbors are sure to be nervous
when you bear the air of the Secret Service.

And finally my favorite:

Perspiration is fine for the cyclist or jogger
but I much prefer the sweat beads of a lager.

And hold... two... three... four... and rest.

Whew! Could anyone else go for a cold beer right now?

5 comments:

  1. HA! Priceless! We saw that prancercise video on TV last night, and it cracked us up. I can't imagine any self-respecting person, male or female, who'd even consider doing that stuff. But YOUR exercises? Oh yeah, I do believe I could handle them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And Stancercise is so easy! The final exercise required a lot of practice however.

      Thanks Susan.

      Delete
  2. Oh. my. god. Is that woman for real? Over 6 million views on her youtube video! She looks like she is having some sort of fit! I much prefer the Stancercise craze. And wow, I already have that last pose perfected. Easy peasy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe I'll have to come up with a stance called the Easy Peasy. And if you really do have that last pose perfected, you may be ready for certification as an official Stancercise instructor.

      Delete
    2. The "easy peasy"... almost has the ring of the "hokey pokey". I am ready for certification....and that's what it's all about. :)

      Delete