Friday, May 10, 2013

Hey Anonymous, CAPTCHA This!

I always welcome comments on my posts. If nothing else, it proves to me that at least someone is reading my blog.

I moderate all comments lest I receive some accolade like “I hope you freeze to death, you ***********, *************, snow-shoveling, son-of-a-*****!”

As well, I have had the CAPTCHA option turned on, mainly because it seemed to stop the comments from one particularly pesky person by the name of Anonymous.

It is ironic that this person shares a name with the brilliant Anonymous who has given us so many sayings, songs, and poems. I believe the ancient Anonymous was some sort of Greek polymath and brother or sister to Aristomedes, but I could be wrong. I fear that the modern day Anonymous has only half the mental capacity of the modern day half-wit.

During the six months that I had CAPTCHA off, I received about 30 comments from Anonymous. Most of them were pretty much the same. Here are how the comments and my equally goofy replies would have appeared, had I posted them:

Hey very nice blog!! Guy .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I'll bookmark your site and take the feeds also? I am glad to seek out a lot of helpful info right here in the post, we'd like develop more strategies on this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . . Feel free to surf my web-site...

    G. Thomas Boston
     I’m glad you’re glad to seek out all the helpful info I try to incorporate into my posts. Like me, you should develop more strategies on this regard. Glad I could share. I shall surf, but just the surface of your site.

Someone essentially lend a hand to make critically posts I'd state. This is the first time I frequented your website page and to this point? I surprised with the research you made to create this particular post extraordinary. Great job! My webpage...

    G. Thomas Boston
    Someone essentially tendered spam to pass it off as a legit comment I’d state. How frequently have you frequented other blog sites for the first time to this point? Don’t be surprised with the research I made to create this particular extraordinary post; ‘tweren’t nuthin’.

WOW just what I was searching for. Came here by searching for jacksonville impotence treatment center

    G. Thomas Boston
    Glad you found us. Unfortunately, very few people are aware that Snow Shoveling In Canada is just a front for the Jacksonville Impotence Treatment Center.                            

Here are a few more articulate comments from Anonymous:
  • I'm very pleased to uncover this great site. I need to to thank you for ones time due to this wonderful read!! I definitely savored every little bit of it 
  • Wow that was ѕtrange. I just wrote an verу long cοmment but аfter I сlіckeԁ ѕubmit my сomment didn't show up. Grrrr... well I'm not wгіting аll that ovеr again.
  • Hi mаtes, how is all, and what you would like to say concerning this pіеce of writing, in my view іts trulу aweѕome іn favor of me. 
  • It's perfect time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I've read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you some interesting things or tips. Maybe you could write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read even more things about it! 
and my favorite:
  • Pretty element of content. I simply stumbled upon your website and in accession capital to say that I get actually loved account your weblog posts. Any way I will be subscribing for your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently quickly.
High praise indeed. And while I do appreciate the comments, I couldn't publish them due to the fact that Anonymous is trying to hawk something on his or her web site. Although, some of it is interesting:
  • make money online no scam (Oh, suuuuuuure!)
  • bathing suits juniors (If this person had truly read my blog, they would know that I’m soon to be more interested in diapers seniors)
  • back pain between shoulder blades (as opposed to upper back pain)
  • last minute wintersport weekend (now this one I should have investigated, being the snow-loving Canadian that I am)

I am in Canada
I am shoveling
I am snow
I am
I am
I am
I am Snow Shoveling In Canada

I always wanted to say that, just like all those cool people you see in so many TV commercials these days.

Anyway, CAPTCHA is an acronym. I think it stands for Can Anyone Perceive These Characters? Hahaha! Anyone?

Hold on. One of my editors has just informed me that CAPTCHA stands for Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart.

What kind of an acronym is that? There are too many words! The proper acronym for that would be CAPTTTTCAHA (pronounced capt-tititty-cah-ha). I don’t like acronyms that aren't succinct and to the point like NATO and SCUBA.

There once was a snorkeler from Cuba
Who thought he would one day try SCUBA
But raptures of the deep
Very nearly made him sleep
He somehow emerged in Aruba 

We might as well make up a new meaning for CAPTCHA. How about:

Curmudgeonly Advice: Please Tell Computer Hackers, spammers, automated software designers, and others of their ilk that you are tired of having to figure out those squiggly, distorted strange words and phrases, and that you no longer want to type them in just to prove you are not a ********* computer, and that if you ever get a hold of any these nerds-from-hell you will give them a swift kick in the lower binary region.



  1. Well! I had no idea you've been fronting for a Jacksonville impotence treatment center. That's... hard to believe. But keep a stiff upper lip, my friend; those anonymous cads offer nothing but flaccid comments. Ignore them. (You can't keep a good man down.)

    Okay, I'll stop now. Fun post!

    If you haven't already figured it out, you can pretty much eliminate spam comments by changing your settings as to who is allowed to comment on your posts. Bar anonymous comments, and they become impotent. (Sorry. Couldn't resist.)

  2. Thank you Susan.

    I wood have made that change before, but I’m glad I didn’t as it provided a subject for a post. I was going to stand firm on my use of CAPTCHA, but why be so rigid?