Thursday, April 19, 2012

Questioning Questions?

It is sometimes advantageous to answer an answer with a question. Right, Alex Trebek? But more often it is better to answer a question with a question.

In order to find some good questions to question, I went to Answer.com and browsed through a few unanswered questions that I felt could best be answered with a question. Does that make sense?

You will find a lot of grammar and spelling errors in what follows. I could have put sic in parentheses after each of these, to denote that the errors are not mine and that the words are quoted verbatim. But you would soon get sick of all the sics, so keep in mind that I’ve reproduced the following questions exactly as they appear on the website.

Q. What do xenopoecilus eat?
Q.  Do you realize you may have provided me with a subject for X in the A to Z Challenge?

Q. What time does walmart open and close?
Q. Why don’t you give them a call? Do you want the number? Or do you think it’s easier to post the question on a website and wait patiently until someone responds with an answer that likely applies to their local WalMart only?

Q. What is the difference in the 1984 Yamaha XT 250L and the 1984 Yamaha XT 250 LC?
Q.  Is this a trick question? Is “C” too obvious an answer?

Q.  The Leg Joint Above the Calf?
Q  Can you be more specific? Is it below the knee?

Q.  What food stuff was Robert Louis stevenson making when he died?
Q.  Wasn’t he having dinner at Long John Silver’s?

The following question was in the Health category:

Q.  What are the bad things about fibre optics?
Q.  Is this a health question? Do you know what fibre optics means? You’re not eating strands of fibre optic wiring because your doctor told you to increase your fibre, are you?

Q.  What reason motivated John A Macdonald to make a country?
Q.  John who?

Q.  What were William butler yeats hobbies?
Q.  Didn’t he write poetry? Or was that keats?

Q.  What is the difference between a 163T and a 164T husquvarna?
Q.  Are you the same guy that asked the question about the  Yamaha XT 250L?

Q.  Is Ashleyla a totl lusr?
Q.  R u a dmb dchbg?

Q.  What is a game you can i have sex on?
Q.  Are you asking whether or not you and I can have sex on a game? Would the intermingling of limbs and embarrassing positions that result in a game of Twister count?

Q.  What is T is U for S?
Q.  Are we not getting ahead of ourselves here? Isn’t R up next in this challenge?

Q.  How many cases per hour should a journeyman grocery stocker throw?
Q.  Are you sure you don’t mean “grocery thrower” as in, “What’s the clock on a grocery thrower’s stock, if a grocery thrower should throw stock?”

Q.  How do you practice the Heimlich Maneuver procedure?
Q.  Are you sure you’re not referring to the Heimlich Procedure maneuver?

Q.  The dentisdt gave you avenerr without pulling the nerve outnow you have alot of pain what can you do helpme?
Q.  Are you currently having mouth pain? Is it affecting your ability to write, or is this a phonetical reproduction that indicates just how much pain you are in?

Q.  What is the freedom to put something in the newspaper?
Q.  I’m not sure, but can I legally put your dumb question on my blog?

The next several questions were apparently asked by the same person:

Q.  What is an conclusion for clean society?
Q.  What is an introduction for clean society?
Q.  How will life look like after cleaning society?
Q.  What are some benefit of having cleaning society?
Q.  Is this Howard Hughes asking these questions? Are you volunteering for the clean-up? If we deleted your ridiculous questions, would that tidy things up a bit?

Q.  Does Romania have any high-ways?
Q.  What? Have you never heard of the Trans-Transylvanian Trail?

Q.  Rigel has a greater what than Sirius?
Q.  Are you Sirius? Is that an exclamatory question as in “Rigel has a greater WHAT than Sirius?"

Q.  What is the proper way to wear a cup for sports?
 Q.  Do you mean a cup as in “trophy” or do you mean a cup to protect your “trophy”?

Why are people asking such crazy questions? Wouldn’t it be easier to do a Google search for answers? Whatever happened to grammar and spelling?

Finally, I must ask myself “Am I ready for R?”

R U?

2 comments:

  1. LOLOLOL! It makes no sense why some people write it like that laughing out loud out loud out loud - but I used it for extra emphasis (presuming that is what it is meant to do). This post is hilarious! I particularly like the dchbg and T U S answers! Thx fo da lffs!!

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