Friday, May 26, 2023

Educated Animals; Well, Smart At Least

What is going on with the educational system in the U.S.? I'm not talking about lack of government funding, or lawmakers' efforts to introduce questionable curricula, or holier-than-thou parents trying to ban certain books. I'm referring to the unruly behavior of animals in classrooms all across America.

The following "news" items from UPI illustrate a growing concern in a number of institutes of intermediate learning:

Pierre, South Dakota - A pair of cows escaped from a South Dakota high school and went wandering across highways and through yards before being corralled at a softball field, police said.

The Pierre Police Department said in a Facebook post the the yearling cows were accused of "skipping school" when they wandered off while taking part in an exhibit at Riggs High School.

"Their adventure took them across roads and highways, through yards and eventually to the Pierre Softball Complex," the post said.

Police, animal control officers and Hughes County sheriff's deputies met the cows at the field and were able to usher them into a fenced-in area.

"City parks crews assisted and before long recess was over and the yearlings returned to class," police wrote.

Delinquent Cows Caught Skipping Class

One might think that these cows were just brought in as part of an exhibit for students of animal husbandry or something. However, the article states that the cows were "taking part in an exhibit"; nothing about being the exhibit. Also, in the accompanying video to the news item, the news anchor states that the cows were, "attending an exhibit."

And to those who think cows are just dumb animals, keep in mind that the story states that these two were "yearlings" - just one year old! I know that I was fourteen before I was smart enough for high school.

Moving on.

Austin, TexasStudents and teachers at a Texas high school said they have had to repeatedly evict an unusual category of unwanted guests -- raccoons.

The recent raccoon sightings at McCallum High School in Austin began with a dead raccoon found in a wall March 10, and the incident was followed by a raccoon being caught in a live trap in a science classroom April 10 and a trio of raccoons being spotted running through a hallway April 26.

It does seem odd that a raccoon was caught in a live trap in a science classroom. Are they sure that it - unlike the cows in the previous story - wasn't there as part of an exhibit? Even if it was half as smart as those cows, it could have been conducting an experiment; perhaps working on the trap when it inadvertently became ensnared.

As far as the trio of the masked bandits running through the halls, that must have been when classes were in session. I remember from my high school days, with all the commotion and chaos at recess and between classes, no one would have noticed three small furry mammals amongst the rest of us wild creatures pinballing through the corridors.

Next story:

Summersville, West Virginia - A school principal in West Virginia received a scare Monday morning when he unlocked a dumpster outside of the building and came face to face with a bear.

A video posted to Facebook by the Nicholas County Board of Education shows Zela Elementary School Principal James Marsh removing the latch from a dumpster outside the school Monday morning.

The footage shows Marsh removing the latch when the lid to the trash receptacle abruptly swings open and a bear appears from inside.

Marsh, and another employee exiting a door just as the bear appears, are seen running for safety as the bear emerges and runs in the opposite direction.

"Who says principals don't deserve hazard pay?" the Facebook post said.

This story did not say that the bear was necessarily in the school, but it's possible the poor thing actually had been attending classes and went looking for some tastier nutrition after having sampled the school cafeteria fare at lunchtime. If that's the case, then the principal apparently didn't recognize one of his own students.

Finally, we have this item which does not involve animals in school, but does involve an activity where humans should, but usually do not expect to have an encounter with wild critters.

Midland, MichiganA Michigan woman walking her dog on a trail said a pair of emus appeared from the woods and chased her for about half a mile.

Kate Buning said she and her dog, a pug mix, were walking on the Pere Marquette Rail Trail in North Bradley, northwest of Midland when a pair of emus suddenly appeared nearby.

Buning snapped a photo of the flightless Australian birds before they started walking toward her.

"I was terrified," Buning told MLive.

She said the emus followed as she retreated and became more aggressive, chasing her for about a half a mile. Buning said the emus gave up their pursuit when she arrived at a road access point...

The emus' origins were unknown Tuesday.

The article states that they are flightless birds, but if they're from Australia, then I have no idea how they got to Michigan other than by flying —  via airplane or otherwise. Since their origins were unknown, they may be just as clever as the other beasts mentioned here and with passports in hand, mixed in with the human populace and got tickets on a commercial airliner. 

Although not specifically noted, it could be that the large birds were just on their way to school. Their aggressive behavior could be attributed to the fact that they needed to bring something to class for "show and tell" and wanted the little pug for that purpose. 

One last animal story, but not a "news" item. Years ago my brother told me that he was watching a bull riding competition on a televised rodeo. He said one particular bull was "the meanest I've ever seen." According to my brother, when the gate was opened, this animal calmly walked out of the chute, knelt down, and just rolled over the poor cowboy, leaving him looking like a cartoon character that had just had an encounter with a bulldozer. 

Was that a bull or a bulldozer?

I agree that bull was one mean animal, and although probably uneducated, is likely the smartest one mentioned here.

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